Becoming His: The Teaching of Rebecca Read online

  Miss Lambert stood with a paddle upraised, obviously ready to deliver another swat. “How dare you! You are never to rise before permission is given. Bend over and stick your bottom out or so help me, I’ll strap you bare!”

  Rebecca did as she was told, too shocked to refuse. The next several minutes were spent trying not to cry out as the paddle connected again and again with her bottom. Rebecca pressed her lips as tightly together as possible and managed to remain silent except for an occasional small moan.

  Edna gave her two dozen swats before she returned the paddle to her pocket. She knew that Rebecca had no idea of what a true spanking would entail. Even a hundred smacks of her paddle wouldn’t truly hurt the young woman. Covered as it was with layers of petticoats as well as her dress, Rebecca’s bottom probably wasn’t even pink. However, she knew the young woman would most certainly find out soon enough. She tugged the girl upright and turned her to face her. Rebecca’s face was red with the shame of it but her eyes showed her defiance. Edna just smiled and then chuckled.

  The sound sent shivers up Rebecca’s spine.

  “Feeling cocky are you now? Feeling proud of not crying out or making a fuss? Just you wait. The next time I have cause to spank you, it will be on your bare bottom and I guarantee you’ll be begging for mercy. Now, pack your belongings immediately. You will never be allowed above stairs again unless it is to clean.”

  Rebecca stopped thinking. It was just too much to handle at the moment. Her face was hot with the shame of being paddled and the threat of another spanking was more than she could fathom. This woman obviously hated her through no fault of her own. The threat of being made to bare her bottom didn’t even register. Her humiliation at her present condition consumed her. She was a true orphan, totally alone in the world and hadn’t been given even a moment to herself to consider what that meant. Instead she had just been paddled and ordered about.

  She wordlessly began to pack her belongings into the one small valise she had brought to the school. The wardrobe contained most of her dresses and Rebecca was informed to leave them.

  “I will see that they are packed into your trunks. You will have no need for such fancy clothing below stairs. Now stop dawdling or do I need to give your bottom another lesson in obedience?”

  Rebecca glanced at the wardrobe as if longing to open its doors, not for the clothing but to climb inside and hide from her new world. However, the threat of another spanking caused her to shove the last of her things into the valise and buckle it closed. Miss Lambert nodded and then, taking her firmly by the arm again, led her from the room. Rebecca shook her off and ran back into the room, dropping to her knees to reach under her bed. Edna was furious at the girl’s rebellion as saw that she was now clutching some book. Edna tried to snatch it away but Rebecca maintained her grip and then stepped out of the room for the last time.

  “Now, I’m ready Miss Lambert,” Rebecca said as proudly as she could. Edna growled as she grabbed the girl’s upper arm, “You have no idea, none at all.”

  Rebecca’s heart pounded in fear and she glanced back to the only refuge she had known since the death of her parents. Tears filled her eyes but she refused to let them fall. Blinking hard, she silently said good-bye to yet another home.

  CHAPTER 2

  Rebecca was led to a door at the very end of the hallway. She had never gone through the door but wasn’t surprised to find a narrow flight of stairs. She was practically drug down the stairs but with one hand gripping the handle of her valise and the other holding tight to her book, she had no choice. They climbed down landing after landing passing many doors. At the very end of the stairs, Edna opened the final door and led her young charge into a large kitchen. Rebecca was amazed at the activity and the heat of the room. Several young girls and women were busy working. A few of the youngest girls were toiling over a large wash basin obviously washing clothes. Each had a kerchief tied around their hair, their aprons and dresses wet and clinging to them.

  Rebecca saw them look up before quickly returning to their task. Rebecca realized she had never truly thought about how her clothing was cleaned. It was always simply collected weekly and returned to her room, pressed and folded into drawers or hung in her wardrobe.

  She looked to see another area where older women were busy with pots and pans bubbling on the large stove or working on a center table rolling out dough or preparing items to be cooked. She knew they must be the ones who put the food on the table three times a day plus the afternoon tea that was served. Seeing the enormous amount of food piled up to be peeled and cut shocked her. Meals appeared on the table, were eaten or pushed aside and the diner simply left when satisfied or time for meals was over. She had never wondered how the food was prepared for the many students as well as the faculty.

  During her childhood she had been a pet of their cook and housekeeper and was just now realizing how much work must have been involved in their daily lives though they had never seemed hurried or cross with their small charge. She continued to stare at the bustling people in the room. She saw others sweeping and cleaning as needed while a young boy was struggling to carry huge pails of scraps out of the door. Another boy was busy stacking firewood next to a giant fireplace. She immediately began to sweat in the overheated room.

  She looked to see Miss Lambert smiling down at her. She flushed knowing the woman was enjoying her discomfort. The woman called for attention. Everyone stopped their work and looked up but remained silent and Rebecca understood this woman was obviously in charge of more than just the students.

  “This is Rebecca.”

  Rebecca felt diminished immediately. She was no longer Miss Matthews. Her status had fallen upon her uncle’s death.

  “Rebecca used to be one of our students but her current situation has caused quite a decline in her station.”

  Rebecca blushed hotly, her hand tightening around the handle of her valise. She saw several of the servants look at her in curiosity.

  Edna continued. “By the grace of Mr. Danvers she has been given a position below stairs. I assure you she has no knowledge of how to do anything. Mrs. Williams, please show Rebecca to her cot and then you may start her on the lowest of cleaning duty. She has already received her very first paddling for disrespect and disobedience today. I’m sure she is anxious to avoid another though I require to be informed of any cause for discipline as usual.”

  Rebecca saw several heads bow as if the people in the room were afraid of drawing unwanted attention to themselves.

  Edna continued, “Rebecca will start at the beginning and perhaps become useful in sweeping the floors and cleaning the chamber pots of her former classmates.”

  Rebecca’s face grew even hotter. She knew the woman was attempting to humiliate her as much as possible but she refused to show any emotion. Edna turned away and after yet another condescending glance at Rebecca, left her among the staff.

  Rebecca watched as a plump woman with grey hair surrounding her round face wiped her hands on her apron. She looked at the door where Miss Lambert had disappeared before saying, “Welcome Rebecca.”

  Rebecca felt tears prick her eyes at the unexpected kindness in the woman’s voice.

  “My name is Mrs. Williams and I am in charge of running the kitchen. We will have time for proper introductions later but for now, let’s get you settled and into your uniform shall we?”

  Rebecca simply nodded and turned to follow as the woman stepped back into the stairwell. She climbed and climbed until they reached the very top of the house. She briefly wondered why Miss Lambert had made her go all the way to the kitchen only to have to climb the stairs again but pushed the thought aside as Mrs. Williams walked down a narrow hallway and opened a door. She stepped aside to allow Rebecca to enter. Rebecca gasped. The room was tiny and crowded with two cots that took up most of the floor space. The only other pieces of furniture in the room were a small table that had one chair and a washbasin that held a washbowl and pitcher. There was no wardrobe or dr
esser. Instead, several hooks hung on the wall beside the cots and a small shelf was hung above them. There was barely enough room for the two of them to stand together.

  “You’ll be sharing a room with Patsy. She works in laundry and will help teach you when you are ready. Just put your bag on the cot for now. Go ahead and begin to undress while I find you a uniform. I’ll be right back to help you out of your corset.”

  Rebecca watched as the woman left the room and in a daze, stepped to the cot she had indicated and sat down wearily. She put her face in her hands suddenly drained of her strength. She wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep. Instead, she heard Mrs. Williams return.

  “Oh sweetie, come along. You don’t have time to rest. Dinner needs to be prepared and served. Come on, let me help you dress.”

  Rebecca stood and was silent as her dress was unbuttoned and removed. She had always been helped to dress by servants but found herself feeling shamed as the older woman chuckled after untying and pulling down the first of many petticoats for Rebecca to step out of. “Goodness gracious, I don’t see how you young women even move in all these clothes. No matter, you won’t be needing these and, believe me, you would simply pass out having to dress so while working.”

  Rebecca still didn’t speak and found herself soon down to her corset cover, corset, chemise and her drawers. For the first time in her life, she actually thought about the unique differences among the classes. The girls she had grown up with had been pampered their entire lives and thought nothing of changing their ensembles several times a day. Rebecca had never once given thought to the poor servants that picked up after her. She had never given a thought to the far simpler uniforms that had surrounded her from birth. She could tell from the soft roundness of the kinder woman helping her that no corsets or heavy petticoats could possibly be hidden under her plain black dress. Rebecca blushed as the woman unlaced her corset and removed it. Rebecca felt immediately cooler as the room was unspeakably warm.

  “You have time for a quick wash up before we go. There is soap and I brought you a washrag and a towel. Remember, these are for you to use all week so make sure you hang them to dry after each use.”

  Rebecca simply nodded and poured a bit of water into the basin. She wet the rag and pressed it against her hot face. She felt her eyes fill and forced her tears back. She would not cry! Instead, she scrubbed her face and neck glad of the coolness of the water. Once done, she dropped the cloth and dried her face on the thin towel that Mrs. Williams handed to her. She dropped that as well. “No Missy! Pick it up and wring out your washrag. You hang them on the hooks there. You don’t want them to get dirty and musty before washday.”

  Rebecca hung them on the hooks beside the washstand. She spoke for the first time. “Ummmm, I saw some girls washing already. Should I just ask them to wash these?”

  Mrs. Williams laughed and said, “Goodness no, child. Patsy and Molly and the other girls do not tend to our wash until Sunday. They have enough to do keeping all the upstairs ladies in clean clothing and towels. I think it is ridiculous that they drop their clothing and towels all over their rooms but it is not my place or concern. You’ll learn soon enough I’m sure. Now, hurry up and put this on.”

  Rebecca took the plain gray dress that was pressed into her hands. It was totally shapeless. She drew it over her head and it fell to cover her feet. Rebecca wrapped the white apron around her waist, tying it in the back. The apron hung to her ankles. With a chuckle, Mrs. Williams untied it, pulled her dress up so that her feet were free and then wrapped the long ends around Rebecca’s waist twice before tying them again in the back.

  “Thank you,” Rebecca said softy.

  Mrs. Williams’ heart ached for the poor thing. It might not be obvious as to why this young woman had found herself downstairs, but it was definitely obvious she was in some sort of shock. “You are welcome. Now you are almost ready. Here you go honey.”

  Rebecca took the remaining items handed to her. She blushed as she realized she was holding a pair of muslin drawers and a pair of black stockings. She looked up, her face red.

  “Fancy drawers have no place in the kitchen Rebecca. These might not be too pretty but they will serve you well.”

  Rebecca simply nodded and reached under her new uniform and untied her soft, white drawers edged in lace. She stepped out of them and then remembered to pick them up and place them on the bed beside her other discarded clothing. She stepped into the drawers handed to her and was shocked to see they had no closing seam up the middle of the legs. She looked over in confusion.

  “They are split crotch miss. You’ll find these useful for when you need to do your necessary as well as…well, never you mind. Hurry up now.”

  Rebecca pulled the horrid undergarment up and tied it as tightly as possible. She felt horribly exposed though she was covered. She finally pulled on the simple black stockings and tied the plain garters around her thighs. The plain black shoes were too large but Mrs. Williams stuffed some paper into the toes to make the fit tighter. When she stood, Mrs. Williams looked her over.

  “Well, you are a very tiny little thing aren’t you? I couldn’t tell under all that clothing. I’ll try to find you a smaller uniform and undergarments but these will have to do for now.”

  Rebecca looked down to see the drawers already slipping off her thin frame. She grabbed at them and tried to tug them back up. Mrs. Williams shook her head and without a word, pulled the uniform up and then dragged the drawers up over Rebecca’s tiny bottom. Rebecca blushed but said nothing. She felt the excess fabric gathered at her waist and then pinned into place. “That should hold them up for today. I’ll make it a priority to find ones that fit. It simply wouldn’t do for you to lose your drawers while working.”

  Deciding that she was as presentable as she could be for now, Mrs. Williams quickly undid the pins holding Rebecca’s beautiful hair up. Rebecca stood still as the woman brushed through the waist length locks as quickly as possible and then braided the strands into a heavy plait down her back. “There, your hair is lovely Rebecca. You’ll find it much cooler and much easier to care for when all that is needed is to brush and plait it.”

  “Tha….thank you for your help,” Rebecca said, her eyes dropping to her clothing on the bed. It might not have been as current or as fashionable as some of her classmates, but it was definitely more elaborate than the plain drab uniform she was currently wearing. The stockings itched against her tender skin and the looseness of muslin of her drawers made her acutely uncomfortable. She blushed remembering how exposed she truly was.

  Mrs. Williams picked up the clothing and said softly, “This is new for you Rebecca. I know it seems impossible right now but you’ll find that it doesn’t have to be horrible. Just do your work and learn as fast as you can. Be obedient and follow the rules. You’ll discover that most of the staff is quite friendly and more than willing to help you. However, none of us can step in if you run afoul of Miss Lambert, Mr. Danvers or the upstairs faculty. I don’t know why you are here but promise to try to make it as comfortable as possible.”

  Rebecca nodded, her eyes filling at the kindness being offered. It was the first she had been offered in months. She took a deep breath and brushed the tears from her cheeks. She gave a tentative smile and held out her arms for the clothing. “Thank you again. I’ll do the best I can. Perhaps you can find a place to store these? I have a feeling I won’t be needing them.”

  Mrs. Williams smiled, glad to see the girl attempting to make the best of what must be an appalling situation. Together, they emptied the valise of all but a few items which Rebecca put on the shelf above her cot. Mrs. Williams took the valise, promising to keep Rebecca’s things safe. She led Rebecca back down the numerous stairs until they were once again in the kitchen.

  If Rebecca had thought the activity in the room was busy before, it was positively frantic now. Mrs. Williams handed her a broom with instructions to sweep the room as best she could without interfering with anyone�
��s activities. Rebecca nodded and began to sweep around the edges as she watched the others perform almost a dance. Pots and pans were stirred and soon dozens of bowls of fragrant soup were being carried through the door into the large dining hall. Rebecca felt her stomach growl but ignored it as no one else was eating or even looking like they’d be eating any time soon. She hadn’t eaten much lunch and missed tea but could only hope that she’d be allowed at least a slice of bread before bedtime. Too shy to ask any questions, she kept her eyes down and worked at manual labor for the first time in her life.

  It wasn’t for several more hours before Rebecca was given a chance to rest. After the evening meal had been served, which consisted of several courses as well as dessert, she was able to sweep most of the floor without running into another person. She was told to put her broom away and help with the huge pile of dishes. She had never thought about all the plates, bowls, glasses and endless silverware needed to feed dozens of people. She scraped food into pails and thought about stuffing an uneaten roll into her mouth. She resisted the urge and watched as a few young boys came into the kitchen to remove the buckets. She had no idea of what they would do with what seemed to be a huge waste of food to her. Her attention was focused on washing dish after dish, her hands quickly growing red and swollen in the scalding water. She never once complained and kept her head down and her hands busy. She handed a washed dish to the girl drying and it slipped and fell to the floor. At the sound of the shattered plate, the room froze. The girl looked up quickly, her eyes wide.

  “I’m sorry! It just slipped!” Rebecca nodded knowing it had been an accident and wondered at the fear in the girl’s eyes. She didn’t have to wonder long.